You Might Be A Wall Street Occupier, If:

   Yes it is rumored today that Occupy will be showing up at the Rose Bowl Parade.  I do not know if it will be on a float or with some high school band twirling a baton, regardless, they should not be that hard to pick out either way.


  1. You moved to a tent in Zuccotti Park because you always wanted a
  nicer place to live.

  2. You quit your "job" to attend the protests, but your mother
  continues your allowance and now does the dishes herself.

  3. You are confused that you can't find the Wal-Mart on Wall Street.

  4. You are enraged that the taxpayers had to bail out Wall Street even
  though you've never paid taxes or know anyone who has.

  5. You hate capitalism but expect a capitalist to provide you a good
  paying job with great benefits.
 
6. You think Socialism has something to do with Facebook, and
  Capitalism has to do with Washington, DC.

7. You demand a job, forgetting that you were fired for not doing the
  one you had.

8. You despise the rich even though they pay your share of taxes.

  9. You're a little behind in your rent because your drug dealer
  insisted on cash.

10. You are very clear in your protest objectives:
     "Screw the USA";
     "Save the ______ (fill in the blanks - whales, spotted owls,
  sturgeon)";
     "Self-realization is the first step toward self-actualization";
     "Down with ... uh... everything!";

11. You think 99 weeks of unemployment is the least the government
  should give you for the 3 months you put in at McDonald's.

  12. You drove a KIA to the protest, you're plugged in to a Sony
  Walkman, talk over a Samsung phone, and play a Yamaha keyboard in a
  punk band, but you are incensed over jobs being outsourced to other
  countries.

  13. You demand your rights, but can't quite recall where they are
  enumerated.

14. You believe you have a right to every penny earned, but the rich
  do not, and you base your claim on equality.

  15. You believe a man is greedy if he worked his way up to CEO on
  16-hour days, runs a company employing thousands, and made $10 million
  last year, but is not greedy if he made $50 million last year for
  making two motion pictures or shooting a ball through a hoop.

16. You are convinced the "system" is holding you back from gaining
  wealth, status, and position. Dropping out of high school, dulling
  your mind with crack and MJ, a few arrests on your record, and
  stealing from your employer had nothing to do with it.

  17. You left behind trash, feces, urine-soaked sod, discarded
  clothing, and used condoms after your "Save the Environment" protest.

  18. You know you're not a Socialist because you stick pretty much to
  yourself at parties.

19. You want to improve the environment and you have the tattoos and
  piercings to prove it.

  20. You don't pay taxes, but somehow that's more than your "fair
  share.";

  21. You hate the rich, but hope you win the lottery.

  22. You haven't bathed in over a month, but demand to be taken
  seriously.

  23. From the looks of it, "greening" the environment means starting
  with your teeth.

  24. You know your cause is just - because the President and Nancy
  Pelosi admire you.